There’s a little thing going on in a country called Iraq, which is not my favorite war. My favorite war is Oh, they’re so many They’re good for different reasons Falklands! That’s… Probably the Falklands, cos we won that one and it was great, it was against Argentina. Yeah, weird. We’re going to war with Argentina. Alright, OK, fair enough, yeah. But… the reason it’s my favorite war is that it was a range war and what that means is that the Argentine guns could fire 9 kilometers the British guns could fire 17 kilometers so we just parked our ships 10 kilometers away and theirs were falling into the sea and we were shelling the shit out of them. It’s the war equivalent of holding a midget at arm’s length and he’s flailing and you’re just kicking him in the bollocks like that. Vietnam – best soundtrack. Second World War best ending. That had to be the end, that was a great finale, you couldn’t follow that, could you? People are worried about atomic energy ooh, it’s bad the effects are still being felt today but it ended a war and that’s good and it was discovered by Einstein and he’s a genius in his 1903 paper he said
that light can be described as discrete bundles of energies the when irradiate on an unstable me.. What maniac thinks like that? Really. I’m not a doctor, but I think that’s what turns Stephen Hawking mad – too much thinking. Do you know what I mean? [robotic voice] The universe is expanding ‘Course it is, Stephen, yeah, ‘course it is, yeah. Jeez, take a day off Go for a walk. Well, not a walk, but, I mean, just… No… Open a window watch a bit of TV, Robot Wars is on, you love that, don’t ya? Greatest mind on the planet. People say ooh, we shouldn’t have a go at Stephen Hawking, ooh, he’s a genius. He is not a genius he’s pretentious. Born in Oxford and talks with that fake American
accent. He is actually a hero of mine not my greatest hero, my greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man, isn’t he? Incredible man. [Applause] Incarcerated for twenty five years he was released in 1990, he’s been out for about eighteen years now. And he hasn’t reoffended. I think he’s going straight which shows you prison does work. I learnt a lot last year about one of your great American heroes Rosa Parks. It was the 200 years celebration of the abolition of slavery in Britain last
year. We were a bit ahead of you on that, but well done, well done. But the abolition of slavery wasn’t the end of
racism, racism was still inherent in society as late as the 50’s and 60’s in England and America. And it was this one incident that sparked off the civil rights movement A young black woman called Rosa Parks refused
to give up her seat to a white person on the bus, it was the law but she’d had enough. And she was arrested for that but then that law was changed. But she didn’t stop there she started sitting in those seats meant for disabled people. She talked to the driver when the bus was in motion. Did she have the correct change ready? Did she, bollocks. Oh, some people. Cheers!